Heroes
A Real Ballbuster: Untangling Testicular Cancer Together
Welcome— Lucasmia, Emma O., , Christine, Mike, Sabrina, and Noahisabella to the Run to Write Community. We are so happy you’re here! Where are you reading from? Let us know in the comments.
Each Wednesday I share a piece of my upcoming book: A Real Ballbuster: Untangling Testicular Cancer Together.
Thank you for reading.
Take good care,
Julie
Jeff received a call we were praying for— his iron infusion bumped up two days sooner than expected. Dr. Duffy was hopeful the infusion would help Jeff feel better going into chemotherapy treatment. I was relieved we could get this process started. We needed something to give Jeff the ambition to keep his chin up.
Thank you, Lord.
I entered the clinic with Jeff, both of us wearing a mask. Masks were still mandatory indoors. The nurse at the front entrance stopped me and asked to see my COVID-19 vaccination card. I panicked as I opened my wallet praying I didn’t take it out. Phew, I handed it to her and she let me inside. She reminded me I would need to show her this every time I came in.
What if I didn’t get the vaccine? Would that mean I wouldn’t be allowed inside? I was thankful I didn’t need to worry about those questions swirling in my mind.
While Jeff was getting his infusion, I found a comfy chair to sit on. I had an hour and a half to wait and figured I would use this time to write. I needed the page to empty my worries, thoughts, and what-ifs. I needed the page to see what negative affirmations were taking up space in my mind. I was willing to shift those to something helpful instead.
As I looked up from my notebook I noticed so many folks coming and going. I wondered what they were here for today. I wondered if they were getting better. My heart hurt thinking about the challenges they were facing. We all were facing.
Life can be so painful and yet we must find a way to keep going.
I returned to the page and wrote one word at the top— Heroes. Each person who walked through these clinic doors. Each caregiver who sat in the waiting room. Each patient who endured scans, bloodwork, infusions, and chemotherapy— Heroes.
“Every day is a chance to create a memory and to love a little more.”
~ Jessi Hooks
Sharing your worries
We reminds us we are the same
Worry and survive
My Dad, when confronted with a situation beyond his control, would simply say, there is “nothing I can do”. But when he had the ability to remedy things, he worried, took action and resolved the problem. Knowing the difference between what is within our control & beyond it is key to a healthy existence. But we all know this. Accepting it is another matter altogether. And whenever I told him that he was my Hero he would simply smile and gently say “one day you will become your own hero.” And yes, I believe that is what we must realize. And yes, I profoundly miss him.
I could almost feel the contemplation and reflecting as you sat in that chair. The procession of patients passing by would pique my curiosity. When my wife was being treated for breast cancer, the facility (Moffitt Cancer Center) treated all types of cancers. The ones struggling the hardest stood out to me. Evoking feelings of compassion, wishes of wanting to comfort them, yet an awareness that their fates were not in my hands. Sobering to see.
Thanks for sharing this portion of your new book, Julie.