Know Pain

Poem of the day

I have a lot to say about pain— my lived experience anyway. They all said they could fix me— special exercises, change my form, take a pill, special gadgets, and then when that didn’t work— stop running.

GRR.

No one was going to fix me—it was an inside job. I got to work confronting the dangers, fears, and old narrative. I began to trust myself and my body again.

Photo by Andreea Chidu on Unsplash

I learned to let go. I learned to not believe every thought.

It’s a daily practice kinda like writing.

Sometimes I don’t want to do it. Where’s the quick fix? The magic pill?

Sometimes my brain wants to spiral to every negative, worst-case scenario it can possibly think of. I’m human.

Yet when discomfort shows up out of the blue, I no longer make my pain mean I’m weak, It’s my fault or I did something wrong.

I ask myself better questions—

What does she need? What is she trying to tell me?

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         KNOW PAIN 

Groans inside
Stomach in knots
Hip stings
Right knee aches
Do I run with all this pain?

What does she need?
What’s she trying to say?
Is this danger or just overprotection
getting in the way.

I’ll start out slow
I’ll move and see
She will tell me once I’m out there
Maybe movement is exactly
What she needs.

Hurt doesn’t always mean harm
Pain is a weird & tricky experience
I’m listening to it all—yet
it won’t be the master
My stride getting faster.

Breathe and relax
Running is safe
Don’t beat yourself up
Go at your pace
Let go of the pressure
Let go of the expectations
Relax, breathe, run
Outdoors meditative.

I’m listening to my body
She knows
I’m aware of my thoughts
The ones not loving—those I feel
in my body numbing.

Hip softens
Stomach releases
Running wiggles out
My right knee no longer shouts.

I’m learning to trust
My body—adaptable & robust
Pay attention to what
is true for me is a must.

My right hip is me
So is my knee
We are not separate
There are no walls
Mind & Body
Heart & Soul
We’re in this together
Love all of her
She knows.