Poetry break for a story

into my next book

Welcome new subscribers, Tracy H, Becky R, Beth T, Lparanormaal, and Hanan. Thank you for joining us. Be sure to download the free poetry collection if you haven’t already.

I’m grateful to

Alyse Hart

and

Because Words Matter

for recommending Run to Write to their readers.

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Here is what I’ve been working on the last few days for my next book, A REAL BALLBUSTER: Untangling Testicular Cancer Together…

That night as I was making the kid's lunches for school my right ankle started bothering me. I was standing in front of the kitchen counter chopping veggies and fruit.  I didn’t think much of it until I turned to walk toward the frig to put the lunches away. I took two steps, gasped in pain, and stopped. What the heck?

I was surprised by the pain. I couldn’t put weight on my right foot and when I did I got tremendous pain in the front of my ankle and the arch of my foot. 

I limped to the refrigerator, placed the kid's lunches inside then opened the freezer. Maybe an ice pack would help as my mind searched for what I did wrong. This pain came without any warning. I couldn’t remember twisting it on my run or any injury. I’ve been fine all day. What has changed? Everything! 

Oh, that’s right, Jeff has some unusual tumor growing in his duodenum. I’m angry, scared, sad, anxious, and wondering how I’ll tell Brindsley and Delaney if this is cancer. 

Okay, of course, I had pain—these emotions were flooding my nervous system and the harm alarm was going off.  I didn’t do anything to injure my ankle however that wasn’t required to feel pain.

I just found out that my husband most likely had cancer, a huge threat, and my nervous system was aware and processing it all. I couldn’t explain why the output was ankle pain but it was. The weirdest part— I had this exact pain and symptoms before in 2011.  

It was a similar occurrence, the pain began without an injury that I was aware of. It just happened out of the blue. I walked into the grocery store and a few minutes later I found myself limping through each aisle. What the heck? I began to panic. Will I be able to make it up to the register? Will I be able to walk to my car?

I coached myself as I grabbed one more item before making my way up to the cashier. I was embarrassed by my limp and tried to hide the pain as I waited in line. I hobbled out happy to find my car not parked as far as normal. I couldn’t believe how much pain I was in. Do I have plantar fasciitis? I’m not going to be able to run tomorrow if this keeps up.

I was training for The New York City Marathon and was freaking out about missing any time in my training. I needed to run. I was not going to let this pain get the best of me. I was just turning a corner in my pain recovery and now this? I was so frustrated because I couldn’t figure out what I did wrong. Is it from running? Is it from all the strengthening I’m doing?

What else was going on at the time? This was one question I didn’t bother to ask in my angst. However, a lot was going on and I didn’t consider the other factors that can contribute to pain.

I wasn’t happy with my job. I was taking courses at night to consider starting my Physical Therapy practice. Jeff was opening a new building for his practice and there was talk that I would go over there but nothing was happening. I wasn’t talking to my mom as she was going through a divorce with my dad. Pain is weird. Yet it had something to tell me. I had something more to learn.

(To be continued…stick around next Wednesday I will share more)

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Thank you for your support,

Julie