A Note
from my eight year old daughter.
I came home from my long run and Delaney immediately greeted me at the door, “Mom there is a note for you on your desk.” She looked serious.
I grabbed my coffee before heading to my desk to see what she wrote me.
Dear Mom,
Please don’t ever leave me with the boys. It is Horrible!!!! And Dad doesn’t even care.
P.S. Brindsley got to pick two shows and I only got one.
Love, Delaney
I was certain there had to be a mistake and Jeff gave me his side of the story to clear up what this note was about. Apparently, they couldn’t come to an agreement on a show and the one that was chosen was not okay with Delaney. She stormed to her room while Brindsley stayed to watch.
Needless to say, the mom guilt surfaced, and for a moment I felt bad for not being there to help Delaney navigate this. Why did she choose to storm away? Did she not feel heard or seen? How can I do better as a mom to give her the tools to support her in these situations?
How many times do we feel the same way?
Even as an adult, I’m working on this. My old habit is to walk away and ruminate on what I could’ve done or said. Rumination is not helpful at all!
In my memoir, My Road: A Runner’s Journey Through Persistent Pain to Healing this was one of the contributors to my pain problem. I didn't want to say anything I regretted or rock the boat so instead, I walked away.
I don’t think this is a bad strategy however I would sit and ruminate for days on what I should’ve done or said. I would shove down my feelings believing there was something wrong with me and never communicated with the person to work out our differences or misunderstandings.
I was happy that Delaney wrote me the note and shared her feelings with me. She wrote Jeff a note too. I’m glad she has this tool of writing. It made me ask, What other tools can I help her cultivate?
I’m curious what tools have you found to work for you?
Wake-Up Call My skin was a sign Please get help, no more hiding What’s out of balance?
Writing can be isolating so it’s nice to meet up and write together. Thank you so much, Amie, Lisa, Beth, Rebecca, Holly, and Melissa for joining me. Sharon, we missed you! Hope to see you all again soon.
Here is the link for Friday 1/27/23 at 11 am (EST). See you then!
Any questions please feel free to reply to this email.
Oh gosh, Julie. This is a wonderful post, and it's taken me right back to whenever I've felt that things are unfair. Actually, that's wrong - it hasn't taken me back all that far, because even at forty-eight I still feel the way that Delaney felt at eight in this scenario.
In an ideal world, if what is chosen doesn't fit with what I'd like, I'd choose to go and do something else like read a book or go for a walk instead. But in reality? I'm afraid I'm a stomper-offer. And I ruminate for daaaaaays over this kind of thing.
I love that Delaney wrote a letter to each of you. That's amazing. Such a healthy form of expression!
Thank you for another super writing session on Friday!
I will. Hope to see you again!