Oh gosh, Julie. This is a wonderful post, and it's taken me right back to whenever I've felt that things are unfair. Actually, that's wrong - it hasn't taken me back all that far, because even at forty-eight I still feel the way that Delaney felt at eight in this scenario.
In an ideal world, if what is chosen doesn't fit with what I'd like, I'd choose to go and do something else like read a book or go for a walk instead. But in reality? I'm afraid I'm a stomper-offer. And I ruminate for daaaaaays over this kind of thing.
I love that Delaney wrote a letter to each of you. That's amazing. Such a healthy form of expression!
Thank you for another super writing session on Friday!
Thank you Rebecca for reading. The stomper-offer, what a great way to put it! I love the ideas of reading or going for a walk. I find those are helpful for me as well. I notice Delaney will go in her closet and read when she is upset too...we are getting there. I'm learning a lot from this. I'm glad she wrote a letter to us both as well. Thanks again for showing up Friday, it's such a joy to my week to write with you all.
We are meeting Saturday February 4th at 11:00am in Diana Cordes' home, 1500 Peth Road
Manlius NY
13104
There will be refreshments and Sunny Kim is bringing manicure materials. Bring your Bible too, as I will have some verses to look up that pertain to what the Bible says about hands!
Oh my gosh, that is so nice and fun! What a great idea. Unfortunately, we are having Brindsley's family birthday party that day. I'm sorry we can't attend. Please tell everyone we said hello and thanks again for thinking of us.
Oh Delaney, how I feel your pain sometimes! I react differently as an adult, but the anger and rush to it, has become too much of a mainstay for me. My husband and I have found, that through talking, that sometimes the things he says are not meant the way they are said, that the comments are "lost in translation." My husband's first language is German (Swiss German), so what is acceptable in that language, is actually offensive or abrupt in English. by talking when either of us feel that flush of impatience, we ask, "did you really mean to say that?" Thank you for this thoughtful post today Julie.
Thank you so much for sharing Beth! I can relate to this with my husband and his first language is English! We're still working on our communication (I guess that never ends) because so many times what he says I take the wrong way and need to circle back and clarify. I'm getting better. :) Thanks again and I hope your off to a great start to your week.
That was a very good strategy that She used. I remember writing little notes to my Mom when I was young to be heard. It’s very effective to get your feelings on paper when frustrated, upset or felt like an injustice has been done. I also know that she writes love notes too.
Oh, I didn't know this mom— that you wrote notes to Grandma. I would love to know more. :) What was her reaction? I'm just curious. I'm glad Delaney writes letters to us and I make a point to write notes to her and Brindsley. There is something special about a handwritten note. Love you
This is powerful! I think the stomping off in children is often seen as bratty( at least I think that’s probably how I was perceived when I exhibited this behavior as a child) but that moment of asking, what else could I do to make her feel seen or heard? What a game changer !
I, too, struggle to assert my actual feelings, instead running away or shutting down.
Only recently have I gotten better at communicating what I actually feel in the moment through a mix of courage, therapy, and lots of self-awareness that’s been a work in progress.
-looking forward to joining the zoom this Friday! I heard about it from Rebecca and I was to busy last Friday ☺️
Hi Camille, Thank you so much for reading and sharing some of your experience. I can resonate. I've had a similar path of therapy, finding my voice, pushing courage, and accepting it's a daily practice. Keep up the great work! You're not alone.
I look forward to seeing you on Friday! I'm so glad you can make it and so great to know Rebecca shared our Friday write togethers with you. :)
Oh you are so kind Claudette! I'm working hard on it! I'm learning so much from them. Delaney really misses you. She likes your Sunday school classes better.
Thank you for linking to your book, Julie. I’m not a runner, but I think your words can help me as I navigate frustrating constant pain due to aging and a ruptured disc. 2023 is my year to become stronger!
Thank you for reading Holly. I've had a few people read the book who aren't runners and it was helpful for them to rethink their pain experience. I would be happy to mail you a copy of the book, let me know. I'm cheering you on...what a great intention for 2023 "year to become stronger!" You got this. If I can do it so can you.
Oh gosh, Julie. This is a wonderful post, and it's taken me right back to whenever I've felt that things are unfair. Actually, that's wrong - it hasn't taken me back all that far, because even at forty-eight I still feel the way that Delaney felt at eight in this scenario.
In an ideal world, if what is chosen doesn't fit with what I'd like, I'd choose to go and do something else like read a book or go for a walk instead. But in reality? I'm afraid I'm a stomper-offer. And I ruminate for daaaaaays over this kind of thing.
I love that Delaney wrote a letter to each of you. That's amazing. Such a healthy form of expression!
Thank you for another super writing session on Friday!
Thank you Rebecca for reading. The stomper-offer, what a great way to put it! I love the ideas of reading or going for a walk. I find those are helpful for me as well. I notice Delaney will go in her closet and read when she is upset too...we are getting there. I'm learning a lot from this. I'm glad she wrote a letter to us both as well. Thanks again for showing up Friday, it's such a joy to my week to write with you all.
“a stomper-offer” 🙋🏻♀️
We're clearly kindred spirits, Holly! 🤣
I will. Hope to see you again!
yes we will get together soon!
We are meeting Saturday February 4th at 11:00am in Diana Cordes' home, 1500 Peth Road
Manlius NY
13104
There will be refreshments and Sunny Kim is bringing manicure materials. Bring your Bible too, as I will have some verses to look up that pertain to what the Bible says about hands!
Oh my gosh, that is so nice and fun! What a great idea. Unfortunately, we are having Brindsley's family birthday party that day. I'm sorry we can't attend. Please tell everyone we said hello and thanks again for thinking of us.
Oh Delaney, how I feel your pain sometimes! I react differently as an adult, but the anger and rush to it, has become too much of a mainstay for me. My husband and I have found, that through talking, that sometimes the things he says are not meant the way they are said, that the comments are "lost in translation." My husband's first language is German (Swiss German), so what is acceptable in that language, is actually offensive or abrupt in English. by talking when either of us feel that flush of impatience, we ask, "did you really mean to say that?" Thank you for this thoughtful post today Julie.
Thank you so much for sharing Beth! I can relate to this with my husband and his first language is English! We're still working on our communication (I guess that never ends) because so many times what he says I take the wrong way and need to circle back and clarify. I'm getting better. :) Thanks again and I hope your off to a great start to your week.
That was a very good strategy that She used. I remember writing little notes to my Mom when I was young to be heard. It’s very effective to get your feelings on paper when frustrated, upset or felt like an injustice has been done. I also know that she writes love notes too.
Oh, I didn't know this mom— that you wrote notes to Grandma. I would love to know more. :) What was her reaction? I'm just curious. I'm glad Delaney writes letters to us and I make a point to write notes to her and Brindsley. There is something special about a handwritten note. Love you
This is powerful! I think the stomping off in children is often seen as bratty( at least I think that’s probably how I was perceived when I exhibited this behavior as a child) but that moment of asking, what else could I do to make her feel seen or heard? What a game changer !
I, too, struggle to assert my actual feelings, instead running away or shutting down.
Only recently have I gotten better at communicating what I actually feel in the moment through a mix of courage, therapy, and lots of self-awareness that’s been a work in progress.
-looking forward to joining the zoom this Friday! I heard about it from Rebecca and I was to busy last Friday ☺️
Hi Camille, Thank you so much for reading and sharing some of your experience. I can resonate. I've had a similar path of therapy, finding my voice, pushing courage, and accepting it's a daily practice. Keep up the great work! You're not alone.
I look forward to seeing you on Friday! I'm so glad you can make it and so great to know Rebecca shared our Friday write togethers with you. :)
You are SUCH a good example for your daughter! And your son!
Oh you are so kind Claudette! I'm working hard on it! I'm learning so much from them. Delaney really misses you. She likes your Sunday school classes better.
I ...WE... miss Delaney and Brindslwy SO MUCH!!
Say, we arehaving a manicure Saturday event for the Sunday Schoolers. Would you guys be interested?
That is so sweet of you Claudette. Send me the info and time, maybe we can join in. We already have a few things planned though so not sure.
Thank you for linking to your book, Julie. I’m not a runner, but I think your words can help me as I navigate frustrating constant pain due to aging and a ruptured disc. 2023 is my year to become stronger!
Thank you for reading Holly. I've had a few people read the book who aren't runners and it was helpful for them to rethink their pain experience. I would be happy to mail you a copy of the book, let me know. I'm cheering you on...what a great intention for 2023 "year to become stronger!" You got this. If I can do it so can you.