Working title: Our Tangles with Testicular Cancer or A Real Ballbuster
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November 2011
I was still on cloud nine. I had just finished The New York City Marathon. For the last five months, Jeff biked alongside me as I trained. Healthy and active, he’d never mentioned feeling sick or off.
I remember when he told me. It was a Saturday morning. I was standing in the hallway between the kitchen and living room. The wooden floor under my feet. Sunshine peeking through the picture window.
"Jules, I have to just come right out and tell you, I found a lump". I scrunched up my face, “A lump?”
What does he mean? I didn't understand. Is this a joke?
“Well I was up late watching TV and I felt something uncomfortable, I found a lump in my testicle.”
Oh crap. My eyes got wide. My throat tightened and my stomach clenched. I was dumbfounded.
He continued, “I called the doctor. He wants to see me this morning. He already scheduled an ultrasound.”
I froze to the floor. I tried to keep up with what he was saying. A lump, really? What the heck, could this be cancer?
I asked if he wanted me to go with him to the doctor. He shook his head no. “I’ll be fine. I’ll let you know when I get back what’s going on, it’s probably nothing.”
I nodded. He gave me a hug and kiss then headed out the door. I remained rooted in the hallway and replayed what he just told me. My thoughts pacing— could this be cancer? It’s got to be something else. He is healthy and strong. What could this be?
I felt Kole, my black lab, lean up against my leg. I knelt down to pet him and hugged him.
Kole, let’s go for a walk, it will keep my mind distracted while we wait for Jeff.
I prayed it was nothing as I hooked the leash onto Kole’s collar. Yet something about Jeff’s voice made me concerned. I pulled a hat over my head in hopes it would muffle my internal noise and stepped out into the crisp air.
A walk with Kole will help.
This week I’ve been making edits to the introduction and organizing the first few chapters. It’s been a process. My body is feeling it. The title is up in the air, but I will keep writing. I’ve learned sometimes that comes together at the end.
I appreciate you being here and reading the work in progress.
Take good care,
Julie
Your writing is so beautiful, even though the subject is tough. Terrific work, Julie. 🙌
Let the title come to you at the end, after you have written the entire piece and re-read it a few times. There is always something that shines through for the right title. Trust the process. XO Tracy