Sweet & Tough Apple slices lend A sweet crunch when life is tough Hint of cinnamon
Jeff was scheduled to have his medical port placed on February 14th. Happy Valentineâs Day to us. They explained that the port would be placed under the skin at the upper part of his chest. This would be used for his treatments and blood draws. A convenient way to access Jeffâs vein without the constant needle pokes. He was grateful.
I figured I needed to have another talk with the kids. I wanted them to be prepared when they saw this quarter size protrusion in Jeffâs upper chest. It would also be an opportunity to circle back about the school counselor.
I chose the kitchen table and gathered them around with snacks after school. I didnât know what I was doing but reasoned this news was best shared with food. I didnât know why I picked the kitchen again but it seemed like a good idea. Deep breath.
âBrindsley and Delaney I want you to know that Ms. W is available to talk with you anytime you need her.â
Brindsleyâs blue eyes met mine, âWhy would we go and talk to her, because of dad?â
âYes, if you would like someone else besides me and Dad, she will be another person you can talk with.â
âOkayâ as he started on another apple slice.
âDad will be starting treatment soon and he will have this little device placed in his chest, under his skin. It will help his care team give him the medicine he needs to get rid of the seminoma.â
I was doing my best to sidestep the âCâ word.
âWhat is seminoma?â Delaney set down her apple slice and turned her eyes towards mine.
Deep breath.
âItâs a type of cancer. The type dad has is treatable and curable. Dad is going to be okay.â
She stared at me, âBut I thought if you get cancer you die.â
âNo honey, there are many types of cancer and many are curable. Dad has one of those types. He isnât going to die.â
She looked relieved, âThatâs goodâ and went back to eating.
Brindsley didnât say anything while we sat gathered around the table. All I could hear was the crunch of their apples. I watched them for a while while Aunt Phoebe (my inner judge) squeaked in with her nonsense. âIs that all youâre going to tell them? You better be right that this is curable, wonder if itâs not.â
Deep breath.
I was determined to not let fear get in the way of how I showed up for my children. I closed my eyes and said a prayerâ Lord please guard my heart and protect my mind.
I fixed my eyes back on my children.
âDo you have any other questions?â
I heard in unison âNo.â
âOkay, but please know that you can ask us anything at any time. Your questions will never be met with anger or avoidance.â
They both nodded and then went off to play together.
Deep breath.
I was happy they had each other.
Thank you for reading.
Take good care,
Julie
Consider slicing about an apple, take a bite, and close your eyesâŚwhat do you hear? taste? smell? May you always have an apple available to you on the tough days of life.
Thanks for your courage and honesty. I know of no one that was born with the instruction manual to have such conversations. Rather, the development of emotional intelligence allows one to âhearâ with an open heart, to be open to growing more trusting (of others and ourselves), and the ability to live more in the here and now and respond to present moment challenges. Wishing you and all your family the very best!
Wise beyond your years
Jules your E.Q. is quite high
Leading with Momâs love...