What do you think?
another discovery on our cancer journey
I used to be that person calling from one room to another.
“Hey Jeff dinner is ready.”
“Hey Jeff I’m leaving to get the kids.”
I don’t communicate like this as much. There’s a good chance Jeff doesn’t hear me.
After his chemotherapy, he lost some of his hearing. One of the drugs in his treatment was the cause. As a result, he now wears hearing aids. He has moments when he has difficulty hearing even with them on. The tinnitus makes it challenging and some days the ringing is all he hears.
I had no idea how much I communicated like this until Jeff’s hearing was compromised. He wasn’t able to catch much of what I was saying and I was frustrated. I was telling myself the story— He never listens to me or he doesn’t care.
Silly me, it’s not his fault.
Now, I’m focusing on facing him when I talk. I move closer. I’m more intentional and slow down. I don’t always remember, but I’m practicing each day. I notice we’re on the same page more often than not.
He heard me.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and restore Jeff’s hearing and eliminate the tinnitus. I recognize his frustration and can only imagine the energy it must take to block out the tinnitus. I notice some days are better than others. I’m working hard to be patient, kind, and understanding, especially on those days.
I’m trying to see this as a gift from this terrible season. Isn’t this how we’re meant to communicate with one another? Turn our face towards theirs, make eye contact, move closer, slow down…I think so.
What do you think?
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Thank you for reading and being here,
Julie
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Take good care.
Oh gosh, Julie - what a terrific thing you've said here: "I’m trying to see this as a gift from this terrible season. Isn’t this how we’re meant to communicate with one another? Turn our face towards theirs, make eye contact, move closer, slow down…I think so."
Awesome words. You're awesome, both of you. xxxx
My Jim has tinnitus, too, and I've learned (it took me way too long) to stand directly in front of him (I walk slowly, too, no need to rush) when I speak and keep my tone mid-range and speak slowly. I can't imagine what it's like, it's constant for him, and it interferes with his sleep. I'm learning (slowly) to be more patient and compassionate, and like you do with Jeff, focus on him and not me. When I read this post, I thought, "Wow, Julie deals with this too!" ❤️