Gosh, such a tough read, Julie. You've all been through so much - and I can't begin to imagine how I would deal with such things. Validation of feelings - as loud as you like! - is so important, and I love how Brindsley expressed himself and how grateful you were and are. Sending love. 😘
Thank you so much Rebecca reading. I know it's not easy to read this kinda story yet we all have challenges and troubles we face—maybe sharing our story will make it easy for others to share theirs. I do believe it helps. Thank you again and sending love and hugs to you.
Oh my heart…I can’t imagine. I am so proud of where y’all are now. You all have been through so much but have pulled together beautifully. Love y’all so much!
That is truly next-level kind of pain... Pain is difficult when it is physical...but emotional pain, well...that is life-defining kind of stuff. To allow your child to feel and express his emotional pain must have been exceptionally difficult...bravo to both of you for making it through that moment... Peace and strength going forward...
Aransas, Thank you for reading and the wonderful compliment. There were many days I questioned my mothering... "I'm I telling them too much, not enough." "Am I making myself available to them enough, am I present." I'm happy we are on the other side.
My mother died of lung cancer when I was 23. It was discovered late, she went quickly, which probably was a blessing, because she was miserable for a very long time. Nothing like what you described.
Horrible for you and your son, and your husband.
My infant son died of crib death (SIDS) the day before I was to enter my last semester in law school. I was so wrecked by that, that I doubt there were printable words to do it justice. About twenty years later, after yet another very deep grieving, I had a marker put on his unmarked grave: "Infant son, he opened our hearts and set us on our journey." It took me another twenty or maybe more years to realize his death made it impossible for me to fit into any plans or dreams my parents and their parents and even I had for me. By then, I had lived maybe ten different lives, each unique. Now maybe I'm going into the 13th. All but that one are reflected in my blogs, non-fiction, fiction and stranger than fiction books and verses.
I hope for your son's sake, especially, that his father rallies and they and you can spend a lot more time together.
Since angels made me a mystic. I know for a fact life goes on after so-called death. People I loved, who died, have come to me in dreams, to help me. My mother actually came to my first wife physically after she and I separated, and told her everything would be okay. We kept trying, but it didn't work out, and yet we have two beautiful daughters and four beautiful grandchildren, and she has had a remarkable life, as have I.
Sloan, Thank you for sharing. My heart aches for the loss of your infant son.
Yes we are on the rally and making time for each other is our number one. Especially with the children growing up so fast! It's interesting you share about people coming into your dreams. This has been happening to my husband since his diagnosis. Again, thank you for sharing.
It looks to me the religious people and the atheists don't have as much purchase on the big scheme as they think they do. Sort of like holding the tip of the tail of an elephant, thinking it's the elephant.
Here's a simple ritual angels taught me in 1993. I taught it to my 3rd wife's 10-year-old son, who used it when he felt he needed help with something. Help, of course, is not necessarily what we would design :-).
Go somewhere alone, turn off the TV, radio and cell phone - there were no cell phones in 1983. Close your eyes, breathe a few times. Think of something you want help with. Ask God, or whatever you think or hope is running things, to show you spirit medicine for it. Then wait. You might see something, feel something, hear something. It will come within a minute, if it's coming. If it comes, sit with it a little while, then go about your day. Something is now in motion, it will play out in its own way.
This ritual can be done as many times as you want to do it for something different each time.
Thank you Julie for opening your heart and allowing us to see & feel the power of love & understanding under the most challenging and painful of circumstances.
I'm hopeful it will help someone else who may be going through a similar circumstance. Cancer is terrible yet we now are seeing the gifts from it. Thank you, Clark.
I’m learning these lessons too and many mornings I get up and remember Hagar who named God, “ the God who sees me”. He’s the God who hears my angry frustrated heart
Thank you so much Mombadear for reminding me of Hagar. This gives me so much peace. He does see all our messy bits and he still loves us so much. Thank you again for being here and reading.
Your words are so helpful in difficult times. They don't always pertain to my life, but they certainly can help others. Thank you!!!
Thank you Faith. I appreciate you reading and your comments. I hope you are feeling better today. xoxo
Gosh, such a tough read, Julie. You've all been through so much - and I can't begin to imagine how I would deal with such things. Validation of feelings - as loud as you like! - is so important, and I love how Brindsley expressed himself and how grateful you were and are. Sending love. 😘
Thank you so much Rebecca reading. I know it's not easy to read this kinda story yet we all have challenges and troubles we face—maybe sharing our story will make it easy for others to share theirs. I do believe it helps. Thank you again and sending love and hugs to you.
You are so right, Julie, and it’s a story that needs to be told. So grateful to read it. xxx
Thank you Rebecca. I appreciate you being here and reading.
Oh my heart…I can’t imagine. I am so proud of where y’all are now. You all have been through so much but have pulled together beautifully. Love y’all so much!
Love you so much Kristen! I'm so happy to see your comment here. Thank you. We miss you all so much. xoxo
That is truly next-level kind of pain... Pain is difficult when it is physical...but emotional pain, well...that is life-defining kind of stuff. To allow your child to feel and express his emotional pain must have been exceptionally difficult...bravo to both of you for making it through that moment... Peace and strength going forward...
Thank you Jack. It was definitely not easy. I'm just happy he keeps talking to us and I hope that continues.
What an impossible moment and wonderful mothering. 💓 Here’s to the powering of acknowledging and validating our feelings and those of others.
Aransas, Thank you for reading and the wonderful compliment. There were many days I questioned my mothering... "I'm I telling them too much, not enough." "Am I making myself available to them enough, am I present." I'm happy we are on the other side.
Brindsley is so precious.
Thank you Claudette. He sure is.
That’s really tragic, raw, heartfelt, beautiful and just plain shitty.
Sloan, you said it! It was all those things and more. Cancer is nasty and it really woke us up to what matters. Thank you for reading.
My mother died of lung cancer when I was 23. It was discovered late, she went quickly, which probably was a blessing, because she was miserable for a very long time. Nothing like what you described.
Horrible for you and your son, and your husband.
My infant son died of crib death (SIDS) the day before I was to enter my last semester in law school. I was so wrecked by that, that I doubt there were printable words to do it justice. About twenty years later, after yet another very deep grieving, I had a marker put on his unmarked grave: "Infant son, he opened our hearts and set us on our journey." It took me another twenty or maybe more years to realize his death made it impossible for me to fit into any plans or dreams my parents and their parents and even I had for me. By then, I had lived maybe ten different lives, each unique. Now maybe I'm going into the 13th. All but that one are reflected in my blogs, non-fiction, fiction and stranger than fiction books and verses.
I hope for your son's sake, especially, that his father rallies and they and you can spend a lot more time together.
Since angels made me a mystic. I know for a fact life goes on after so-called death. People I loved, who died, have come to me in dreams, to help me. My mother actually came to my first wife physically after she and I separated, and told her everything would be okay. We kept trying, but it didn't work out, and yet we have two beautiful daughters and four beautiful grandchildren, and she has had a remarkable life, as have I.
Sloan, Thank you for sharing. My heart aches for the loss of your infant son.
Yes we are on the rally and making time for each other is our number one. Especially with the children growing up so fast! It's interesting you share about people coming into your dreams. This has been happening to my husband since his diagnosis. Again, thank you for sharing.
De nada.
It looks to me the religious people and the atheists don't have as much purchase on the big scheme as they think they do. Sort of like holding the tip of the tail of an elephant, thinking it's the elephant.
Here's a simple ritual angels taught me in 1993. I taught it to my 3rd wife's 10-year-old son, who used it when he felt he needed help with something. Help, of course, is not necessarily what we would design :-).
Go somewhere alone, turn off the TV, radio and cell phone - there were no cell phones in 1983. Close your eyes, breathe a few times. Think of something you want help with. Ask God, or whatever you think or hope is running things, to show you spirit medicine for it. Then wait. You might see something, feel something, hear something. It will come within a minute, if it's coming. If it comes, sit with it a little while, then go about your day. Something is now in motion, it will play out in its own way.
This ritual can be done as many times as you want to do it for something different each time.
Thank you for sharing, Sloan
Thank you Julie for opening your heart and allowing us to see & feel the power of love & understanding under the most challenging and painful of circumstances.
I'm hopeful it will help someone else who may be going through a similar circumstance. Cancer is terrible yet we now are seeing the gifts from it. Thank you, Clark.
I’m learning these lessons too and many mornings I get up and remember Hagar who named God, “ the God who sees me”. He’s the God who hears my angry frustrated heart
Thanks for being vulnerable with all of us
Thank you so much Mombadear for reminding me of Hagar. This gives me so much peace. He does see all our messy bits and he still loves us so much. Thank you again for being here and reading.